Discipleship? But He's Only Eight Months Old.

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How do you disciple your son when he’s just a baby? I’ve asked myself this question so many times in the last eight months. I’ve struggled to see my role in this whole parenting thing, really. Honestly, a mother’s role is very defined, especially in Sir Charles’ case. My wife is nursing him and supplementing with pureed fruits and veggies (which aren’t half bad, by the way). She stays at home with him, plays with him, dresses, feeds him, reads to him, teaches him colors, shapes…you get the picture. There are things that she does that I don’t have the privilege of doing. Right now, her role is clearly defined (by her choice, just so we’re clear). My role, however, not so much.

I know that my time will come when I can teach him things like grace, forgiveness, unconditional love and acceptance the same way that my dad taught me. A lot of those lessons will come through just being present and intentional with my actions and words. I will have to model the desired behavior I hope to see in his life. How will I act when things don’t go my way? How will I respond when someone cuts me off in traffic? How will I carry myself around women who aren’t my wife? How will I talk when I’m around other men? How I voice my opinion at a sporting event? What will I do when the cashier gives me too much change? Sir Charles will observe all of this one day. But until then, what do I do to guide my son to become more like Christ?

After much thought and reflection, here is what I came up with. Now, just being honest here, I have in no way mastered these. I’m in the middle of sanctification myself and there are a lot of rough edges that still need smoothing. But this list is a goal for me.

• Love his mother- One of the first things he will see is how I treat his mommy. We try not to argue in his presence. It’s fine to disagree with each other while he’s around, that’s part of letting him see how to interact appropriately and respectfully, but when tempers rise; it’s time to use discretion and have those talks without him in the room.
• Be present- I’m not just talking about coming home at night—which should go unsaid. I mean when you’re with him, be present as well. He’s only eight months old, but he already knows that the little black thing in my hand that lights up is interesting. If I’m looking at it, he wants it. I have to intentionally be present in the room and not on my phone or tablet so that he will know he is more important to me than that little black thing.
• Keep your composure- When Sir Charles is crying, the smoke alarm is going off, Roscoe is barking because some genius delivery person rang the doorbell, and Sarah is away on a much-needed jog, I have to keep my composure. (Real life scenario, by the way). You have to keep a level head and not flip out. Because as soon as you lose your composure, you will either do or say something you can’t get back. The best way to do this, is to stay prayed up and in God’s word. And I’d also take Daniel Tiger’s advice and “take a deep breath and count to four.”
• Create a safe environment- This is one that dads I’ve talked to really seem to get on board with. We tend to like fixing things. However, a safe environment doesn’t just mean spraying for bugs and childproofing the doors. This role extends to the boundaries you set for your family. Sometimes you have to say “no” to things. That’s just part of it. It’s your job, dads, to clearly define the number of and type of visitors that come in your home. That includes parents and in-laws. If it’s not in your household’s best interest to have guests, it’s your job to say so—especially with your own parents. They will understand, they’ve been parents to little ones before. They may not like it as grandparents, but they’ll understand eventually.
• Play- playing with your son helps you bond with him early. I love seeing Sir Charles giggle when I read “Peek-a-boo Forest” to him. Even after the bazillionth time, he still gets surprised to see the moose hiding behind the spruce. These times build trust and a bond that will pay off down the road. Even if it seems pointless that you can recite Dr. Seuss books, it will pay off later…or so I’ve been told.

What are some ways you are discipling your child? I’d love to hear your story.